look
all i wanna do is get rich people to pay me to tell them things about their brain they don’t know/ put them into expensive machines that blast their bodies with all types of electromagnetic fields and rays and things.
once you’ve done something twice and wouldn’t mind doing it just one more time… too late you’ve acquired a taste for it… enjoy
i feel the same way like u did it.. then u did it again. thas yo life nah.
death is like collapsing the wave function but wtf do i know about physics or death right?
if you can’t annoy your girlfriend while she’s trying to sleep off her drunk what is life about?
da blow
da pills
da yak
da herb
This nigga….
id follow again for this post but im already followin
(Source: morphinginthepuhsea)
correction, a pig gf who ain’t shit either.
damn as much as i don’t like shitty couples
i love shitty couples
i love the honeymoon high
i love the initial burst of love
its like the nutrients in a seed
that without water, allow it to sprout and grow tall
into a beautiful tree or flower
that gets cut the fuck down
for growing in the cracks of my driveway
tragically beutiful
i’m no fun for older girls anymore cause i have all the paranoia and bitterness of the dudes their age but i’m as broke as all the other 22 year olds it’s a lose lose
same
How to escape after being buried alive in a coffin.
It could happen to anyone. People bury a person alive to scare them or to get rid of them. In this situation, rely only on yourself.
- Do not waste oxygen. In a classic coffin there’s only enough oxygen for about an hour, maybe two. Inhale deeply, exhale very slowly. Once inhaled - do not swallow, or you will start to hyperventilate. Do not light up lighters or matches, they will waste oxygen. Using a flashlight is allowed. Screaming increases anxiety, which causes increased heartbeat and therefore - waste of oxygen. So don’t scream.
- Shake up the lid with your hands. In some cheap low-quality coffins you will be able to even make a hole (with an engagement ring or a belt buckle.)
- Cross your arms over your chest, holding onto your shoulders with your hands, and pull the shirt off upward. Tie it in a knot above your head, like so:
This will prevent you from suffocating when the dirt falls on your face.
- Kick the lid with your legs. In some cheap coffins the lid is broken or damaged already after being buried, due to the weight of the ground above it.
- As soon as the lid breaks, throw and move the dirt that falls through in the direction of your feet. When it takes up a lot of space, try pressing the ground to the sides of the coffin with your legs and feet. Move around a bit.
- Whatever you do - your main goal is to sit up: dirt will fill up the empty space and move to your advantage, so no matter what - do not stop and try breathing steadily and calmly.
- Get up. Remember: the dirt in the grave is very loose, so battling your way up will be easier than it seems. It’s the other way around during a rainy weather however, since water makes dirt heavy and sticky.
okay this really creeped me out ngl
as one of my biggest fears is being buried alive, THIS IS VITAL INFORMATION.
my claustrophobia just kicked in.
an hour’s worth of air.. maybe. damn.
(Source: vk.com, via kingjaffejoffer)
When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else —The small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.
So…
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
‘Take care of the golf balls first —
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled
‘I’m glad you asked’.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.Yes
(via victran)
because when it all boils down who wouldn’t wanna be a hep jazz musician smokin reefer and doin the mess around with white women. eyaa
the family that shades together stays together
this is when Elizabeth Hasslebeck asked a question! LMAOO
I love that Barack is trying to fake a smile and Michelle is just like NO.
this picture is perfection
this is the best picture of them
and the best picture of a first family i’ve ever seen.
(Source: dcprettygirl, via itsexclusive)
i take back 98% of the bad things i said about tim and eric show
the dude from step brothers slays meh
but that would involve getting my dingus whet
The problem with saying, “i can’t breathe”
is that you have to inhale/exhale to do it.
but if you are saying “i can’t breathe” its a sure sign that yes, you can.
its like saying “i can’t swim” @ the surface of water.
Yer doin it, so don’t gimmie that negative attitude.
If you’d focus more on breathing and less on lying you’d probably be able to get more air thru.. but that’s just me.
A human question.
Looking at Britain’s Empire, Hitler, and Napoleonic wars, why do people conquer one another? Is war inevitable? Is this a gender thing and dudes like to slaughter people?
Why do people strive for more? Power is simply corruptible? Greed? Why?
What reasons would you have to conquer other people? [the assumption is war is not a threat in this question.]
I say it isn’t inevitable. I say at some point you have to be willing to sit down and parlay. If you can’t reach a conclusion through negotiation or mediation or any of those types of words you should weigh the benefits against the consequences of going to war with someone. Many people think its all done on a whim, but you have to realize people’s careers hinge on going to war because if you go to war and fuck up you lose your job. Most people don’t see firsthand the responsibility of managing military members and rest assured if you’re any kind of reckless it shows. Just think about when ur boss fucks up payroll or ur schedule, but extrapolate it with your life. Few people have had the.. and i say this not lightly.. pleasure of meeting a General in person and seeing the genuine look of concern on his face because he knows that his decision making can mean a kid grows up without a father or mother or someone’s son or daughter does not come home to their family.
Conquering can happen for any number of reasons. You can look at a region and say, “man, those people need my help. i’ll help them manage their finances better and improve their roads and hospitals.” If you are in a position and have the resources to do so you can do good: change for the better. But if you just think your people are better than those people and have the resources to eradicate those people.. well, you get the Jewish holocaust.
Its about having an agenda sometimes too. Like Alexander the great. “i wanna unite the world” type of stuff. The only problem with that notion is that while its a good one, its a lot easier most of the time to just force your rule upon those who you think would benefit, not taking into account whether or not they like their meager lifestyle or their own customs.
If you have a British empire managing the world for them, it can do some good like bring infrastructure to impoverished nations. But if you have the German empire trying to make the world like them then well, you’ve got a dickhead civilization.
Motives meng. I could’ve just said “all of the above” but if you read this far u musta thought it it was legit